Temples, Ministering, Inclusion & Healing

I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting on June 17, 2018.  The assigned topic was "Get Ye to the Temple".  It was also Father's Day.   The text of my talk is below:

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One of my earliest memories of my father is him dressed in his suit and carrying his little suitcase as he and my mother headed to the temple.   The temple was always important to my father and he demonstrated his love for the temple by his actions and serving within the walls often.   As his health was declining and he wasn’t able to attend church anymore, let alone the temple he realized that his recommend was about to expire and made arrangements for both the bishop and the stake president to come see Dad at home to renew the recommend.  My father’s dedication to the Gospel and the temple have always been an example and inspiration to me. 

I have a somewhat unusual relationship with the temple.  I didn’t get married there.  I wasn’t endowed as a step to a mission or marriage.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  However, I am grateful that when I did choose to receive my temple endowment it was because I wanted to participate in the blessings of the temple.  That was 20 years ago this past April.  I have a deep love for the temple.   I have had many wonderful experiences in the temple.  It blesses my life.

In April General Conference Elder Renlund gives a powerful list of blessings available to those who participate in family history and temple work

"As we participate in family history and temple work today, we also lay claim to "healing" blessings promised by prophets and apostles.  These blessings are breathtakingly amazing because of their scope, specificity and consequences in mortality.  This long list includes these blessings: 

• Increased understanding of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice;
• Increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel strength and direction for our own lives;
• Increased faith, so that conversion to the Savior becomes deep and abiding;
• Increased ability and motivation to learn and repent because of an understanding of who we are, where we come from, and a clearer vision of where we are going;
• Increased refining, sanctifying, and moderating influences in our hearts;
• Increased joy through an increased ability to feel the love of the Lord;
• Increased family blessings, no matter our current, past, or future family situation or how imperfect our family tree may be;
• Increased love and appreciation for ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone;
• Increased power to discern that which needs healing and thus, with the Lord’s help, serve others;
• Increased protection from temptations and the intensifying influence of the adversary; and
• Increased assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded whole.

These are powerful, amazing blessings.  I’d like to focus on a few of them.

Increased faith, so that conversion to the Savior is deep and abiding

Increased joy through increased ability to feel the love of the Lord

To me these go hand in hand.   As I become more converted to Christ and come to know Him more I do feel his love increase in my life.  I feel his love increase for me and for others.   Many years ago as I was struggling to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life I had fasted and prayed over a period of several weeks, maybe longer.  I wasn’t getting clarity on my answer.   I wasn’t ready to confide in anyone other than through prayer.  I felt lost, confused and alone.   I finally got a chance to attend a session in the Provo temple.  As I sat in the Celestial room pouring my heart out, again, in prayer I gazed at the larger than life painting of our Savior on the wall.  I was overwhelmed by the feeling of his love for me.  It was tangible. It was comforting.  I didn’t receive my answer in the temple that day, but I did receive the strength to have faith that the answer would come and it would be the answer that was best for me.

I have often felt his love for me and his absolute ability to heal and support me and those around me.  Not just in this situation, but in the darkest most difficult times in my life.  He gives me peace in the midst of my storms.   I am confident he will do the same for you and as we attend the Temple we will feel this and recognize it even more fully.

As many of you know I am blessed to have a weekly shift on Saturday evenings in the sealing office of the Provo City Center Temple.  This is a highlight of my week.  Because of this I tend to think a lot about the sealing ordinance and the blessings that come from uniting families.  Sometimes this takes a lot of faith too.  Faith that everything will work out to bring families together in the Lord’s timing.  As previously mentioned I was not married in the Temple.  I was never sealed to my former husband and therefore my children are not sealed to me.  Sometimes this is very difficult to think about, but I just need to lean on the Lord and trust in his promises.  I believe that somehow some way I will have the opportunity to experience those blessings and be able to have my children sealed to me.  It is painful to feel like you’re on the outside, like you don’t have a place, like you don’t quite fit.

This leads me to the other promises Elder Renlund referenced in his talk that I’d like to discuss:

• Increased power to discern that which needs healing and thus, with the Lord’s help, serve others;
• Increased assistance to mend troubles, broken or anxious hearts and make the wounded whole

I think these also go hand in hand.  

I can best illustrate this by sharing an experience I had earlier this month.   On the first Sunday of June I went to Salt Lake and walked with Mormons Building Bridges in the Pride Parade.   For those who are unfamiliar with Mormons Building Bridges their mission statement begins:

"In accordance with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Mormons Building Bridges is a community of Latter-day Saints dedicated to conveying love and acceptance to all who identify as LGBTQI+ and those who experience same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria.  The Mormons Building Bridges community asserts that all our LGBTQI+ sisters and brothers are inherently worthy of love and belonging in our homes, congregations, and communities - no matter where their life path may take them" 

As I lined up I saw many other dressed in Sunday Best holding colorful signs emblazoned with scriptures, messages of love, quotes, and lyrics from hymn and primary songs.   All had shining faces and bright smiles.  As our turn came and we began to walk down the street and I saw all of the people lined up on the side of the road cheering and waving I felt overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude, I felt the Spirit so strongly and the tears began to stream down my face.  A bit later I was able to just soak up the joy of the smiling, cheering crowd and the smiles, waves, and signs of love from my fellow walkers. I also smiled and waved the ASL sign for "I love you" at the crowd.  

Toward the end of the parade route I saw a young lady, probably about 21 or so on the side of the road, she was in the front row of the crowd and she was sobbing.  Without even thinking I stepped out of the group, walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace.  She clung to me and we cried together as we hugged. She thanked me over and over.  I told her I loved her and I meant it. I could feel the love that Christ has for her too.  This was one of the most deeply moving and spiritual experiences I've ever had.  

I can see this as a parable of temple work.   The crowds alongside the street far outnumbered those of us Mormons walking in the parade.  Just as those who have not had the opportunity to receive the blessings of the temple in their lifetime far outnumber those of us who have.  From my perspective I couldn't tell for sure, but I've heard many times that the Mormons Building Bridges entry gets the biggest cheer from the crowds.  They see hope in us, a glimmer of acceptance where previously they may have felt they didn't belong.  As we think of those waiting to receive these ordinances and blessings, those who don't yet fit in or have a place, but see hope as we unify and go to the temples to create a place for them; wouldn't they be cheering us on as we do family history and attend the temple to perform their sacred ordinances?  

As for the young lady I hugged, I don't know her or her story so I am imagining one, which unfortunately, is all too common.  Perhaps she comes from a very strict family who kicked her out after she came out to them as a member of the LGBTQ community.  Though  Church leaders counsel LDS parents to not do this, it still happens.  I picture this young lady as no longer belonging to her family and feeling ostracized, hopeless and alone.  Maybe not just rejected by her family, but her faith community and, possibly even, in her mind, by extension God.  It may sound melodramatic, but this is a very real experience for too many of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.  When we think of those who have gone before us, who didn't have the opportunity to hear the gospel or participate in the ordinances of the temple.  They are separated from their families and even the full potential of the Celestial Kingdom.  People who are lost and alone, separate, possibly afraid, sad, and hurting.  When we seek out their names and complete their ordinances it  is akin to seeing their tears, stepping out of the crowd and embracing them with love and inclusion.  They will be able to express their gratitude and we will be able to embrace them, show our love and welcome them into our eternal family.  

In November 2017 at a BYU Devotional Elder M. Russell Ballard addressed the issue of LGBT members belonging in the Lord's Kingdom and a call for the rest of us to be more compassionate and welcoming. It is not just out LGBTQ members who sometimes feel like they don't fit in.  I remember feeling despair of not having an eternal family or a worthy priesthood holder in my home; this made attending church incredibly painful when I'd hear other women expressing gratitude for having these blessings.  I even stopped coming to church for a few weeks because it hurt too much. There are some among us who may feel troubled, broken or have anxious hearts due to many factors such as being divorced, single, having a wayward child, or no children, strained family relationships, or being estranged from parents or children, or many other possibilities.  If we can consider inserting each of these circumstances in addition to the specific circumstance Elder Ballard discussed we can see this as more universally applicable.  He was responding to questions and had been asked about what advice he had for LGBT members,  He said:  

"I want everyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know that I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord's Church, but you do.
We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing.  Certainly we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and they have a place to worship and serve the Lord."  

If we substitute any of the previously mentioned circumstances into this model and seek to listen to and understand our brothers and sisters who are hurting and truly minister to them, we are more fully living up to our covenants.  I want to make it clear than I know this was is amazing!  We do this very well.  I have seen so much love and support for one another, but there is always room for improvement.  I know that I can be better at reaching out and ministering to others.  

As we attend the temple and participate in the ordinances there as often as we can according to our individual circumstances and season of life we are in we will find peace and solace within the walls.  As we seek to gain a greater testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ ad increase our capacity to feel his love for us our lives will be greatly enhanced.  We will be able to more fully discern who and what needs healing and more fully minister to and serve them.  We will be able to seek to mend troubles, broken or anxious hearts and work to make the wounded whole as we reach out to the living and the dead.  Especially those who feel left out, unseen, marginalized, or alone.  

I testify that as we do this our lives will be changed, we will be changed.  We will become more like the Savior and be better disciples of Christ, able to love one another as he loves us.  

I testify that Jesus Christ lives.  He suffered for us, he died for us, and he still seeks to help us become more like him.  As we seek the blessings of the temple and the whisperings of the Spirit we will be able to follow him and minister to those he would.  I say this is his sacred name, the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Chocoate Wisdom

Recently someone gave me a miniature candy bar that had a message printed on the wrapper. It says: Treasure the Moment.

This is good advice. We all have those little moments every day that come and go with no fanfare but they are important and often fleeting. Time moves quickly, things change.

It does not seem that long ago that my children were small. When Kimberlee, the youngest, was born I had five children under the age of 7. This was a challenge, obviously. It was also a lot of fun. Each child was busy in their own way and kept life interesting.

John David learned to ride a bike in one day. He also was the victim of the "long distance tickle" I could stand across the room from him and wiggle my fingers in his direction saying "tickle tickle." He would collapse into fits of giggles and roll around on the floor.

Shanna had an imagination that would not quit. One day she was telling me about the mud room at school. She said it was full of mud and that they played in the mud. Thinking that I, of course, was much smarter than a kindergartner tried to trip her up by asking her questions about why when didn't come home muddy etc. that girl had an answer for every thing I threw at her. It was amazing! She also wanted to go live with her school teacher because she loved the teacher so much.

James walked about five miles from several blocks north of downtown Provo to Grandpa and Grandma's house because his uncle Joseph had said no Utah Jazz fans could ride in his car. James took this literally and was able to find his way home. He also made such good friend with the playground supervisor that she bought him the Mr. Bucket game Santa forgot to bring

Michael was obsessed with Barney. Totally resisting wearing shirt that did not have a picture of Barney on it. He curled his toes and refused to even try on a new pair of shoes that were not "Barney Shoes". We had to drive to the next town to find a shoe store with Barney shoes. He could not ride in the car without listening to Barney CD's screaming "Barney talk" repeatedly until it was turned on. I had to sing the brushing teeth song from Barney to get him to brush and it goes on and on.

Kimberlee just cried and ate and slept, she was a newborn. ;) As she got a little older she loved to play hide and seek. She met Donny Osmond and was surprised that he was at the bookstore because she thought he lived inside our TV. She also learned to spell her name when she was only two.

It seems as almost no time has passed, but now Kimberlee is almost ready to start high school, Michael has one year before graduation, James is a missionary, Shanna is going to be a mother herself, and John David is the family handyman.

These little moments from my children's lives exist now only in memory. Time and life march on, relentlessly. Someday Shanna's first pregnancy and James' mission service will also be memories. I hope I can enjoy these experiences vicariously through them and savor these unique times.

Treasure these moments. Experience the daily joys those little bites of time and events that make life rich and delicious.

My preferred method of eating chocolate is to let it melt on my tongue savoring the sweetness and flavor. Chewing ends the episode too quickly and diminishes the opportunity to really taste and experience the sweetness, the creaminess and deliciousness of the candy.

Life life like you are eating chocolate slowly, notice the moment, savor it, treasure it.

Please Don't Call Me Grandma!

Remember I promised this was not going to be a blog only about death? Now I am proving that by posting about life!

A new life to be exact. My beautiful daughter just found out that her baby, due in October is a boy! She texted me and said "It is a little Robbie" this is exciting news.

I am eager to start the adventure of having a grandchild. I just am not too sure about accepting the title of "grandmother," that word just feels so old to me and I do not feel old enough to fit the paradigm I have of that word.

I have decided that "Nana Lisa" is the title I would like to have. I am excited to start gearing up to love another amazing little life and be as involved with him as Shanna(h) would like me to be. I already bought a fun little gift for him.

Thinking about it, the process of prenancy is amazing! To grow from two almost microscopic cells to a fully formed and viable human being in just nine short months is absolutely miraculous! To be a woman and have the ability to grow a life inside of you is so amazing.

I eagerly await seeing this amazing life that is my first grandchild enter the world in a few months and then see him grow and learn and pass all the milestones babies all reach.

I know that Nick and Shanna(h) are going to be amazing parents. Shanna(h) was born to be a mother. I love her and know she will be awesome as Robbie's mommy!