What's So Funny

I recently found a quote somewhere on the web that I thought was very profound.


"Nothing shows a person's character more than what he or she laughs at."

The more I think about this the more I realize how true it is. A person who laughs at the pain or misfortune of others is generally not a very nice person, A person who laughs at humorous situations is fun to be with. A person who can find the humor in a situation, especially one that may not seem humorous is usually wise and witty. Best of all is the person who can laugh at themselves.

I love humor and wit. I often laugh out loud while reading a book or watching a good movie. Sadly, it seems more and more that so-called humor is becoming crass and mean-spirited.

The TV shows that make me laugh the most are 'I Love Lucy" and "The Beverly Hillbillies"

Beverly Hillbillies falls into the category of finding the humor in a situation such as the coincidence of the mysterious music playing just before someone shows up at the door. A gold-digger thinking that Jethro is a duke instead of realizing the old hound is named Duke. What about thinking a parking ticket is some sort of prize.


The humor comes from the innocence and naivete of the Clampetts but we are not laughing AT them, we laugh with them as they try to make sense of a foreign way of life.

I Love Lucy is based on us laughing with Lucy as she laughs at herself. The situations are so ridiculous and each idea Lucy comes up with is crazier than the one before. Who can forget the episode where Lucy is stomping grapes, or is trying to prove she can hold down a job in a candy factory and ends up with chocolate everywhere but in the wrappers. Of course there is the classic Vita-Meata-Vegamin episode where she gets more and more tipsy and ends up slurring her words. We see the humor in yet another crazy stunt. It is laugh out loud funny every time!



Ask yourself... what makes you laugh. Be careful, your character is showing.

Families Are Forever

Today I was privileged and honored to be invited to a very special event in the Provo Temple.

Katelyn Marie Thelma Mikolasy was sealed to her mother Patsy and her step-father Bruce. President Merrill J. Bateman officiated.

The ceremony was brief, but beautiful and the Spirit was so strong. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room.

When Patsy invited me, yesterday, to be present as she was sealed for Time and All Eternity to her beautiful daughter I was so touched that I cried for about half an hour. My feelings have been tender all day in anticipation of the creation of this powerful and eternal family link.

I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the restoration of the Gospel that makes this amazing blessing possible. I love the Temple and the ordinences that bless us so greatly.

It is always an amazing thing to watch the power of the priesthood as an eternal family is created. Be it joining a man and woman together in a marriage, sealing a previously civilly married couple, sealing an adopted child to the parents, or in this case a proxy joining of deceased member to other family members I love, love, love the feeling and promise of this sacred ordinance.

I have been present at several marriage sealings, for some of my siblings and cousins.

I was also privilaged to be present as Shawna and her husband had their youngest daughter, whom they adopted sealed to them which in turn also sealed her to their other four children.

I have participated in proxy sealings as a wife and as a daughter.

Every sealing ordinance is wonderful and special. But some are especially poingant.

The sealing of Katelyn to Patsy and Bruce was one of those poingant sealings. I know that she is as happy as we all are that she is now eternally linked to her wonderful mother and family.

Chocoate Wisdom

Recently someone gave me a miniature candy bar that had a message printed on the wrapper. It says: Treasure the Moment.

This is good advice. We all have those little moments every day that come and go with no fanfare but they are important and often fleeting. Time moves quickly, things change.

It does not seem that long ago that my children were small. When Kimberlee, the youngest, was born I had five children under the age of 7. This was a challenge, obviously. It was also a lot of fun. Each child was busy in their own way and kept life interesting.

John David learned to ride a bike in one day. He also was the victim of the "long distance tickle" I could stand across the room from him and wiggle my fingers in his direction saying "tickle tickle." He would collapse into fits of giggles and roll around on the floor.

Shanna had an imagination that would not quit. One day she was telling me about the mud room at school. She said it was full of mud and that they played in the mud. Thinking that I, of course, was much smarter than a kindergartner tried to trip her up by asking her questions about why when didn't come home muddy etc. that girl had an answer for every thing I threw at her. It was amazing! She also wanted to go live with her school teacher because she loved the teacher so much.

James walked about five miles from several blocks north of downtown Provo to Grandpa and Grandma's house because his uncle Joseph had said no Utah Jazz fans could ride in his car. James took this literally and was able to find his way home. He also made such good friend with the playground supervisor that she bought him the Mr. Bucket game Santa forgot to bring

Michael was obsessed with Barney. Totally resisting wearing shirt that did not have a picture of Barney on it. He curled his toes and refused to even try on a new pair of shoes that were not "Barney Shoes". We had to drive to the next town to find a shoe store with Barney shoes. He could not ride in the car without listening to Barney CD's screaming "Barney talk" repeatedly until it was turned on. I had to sing the brushing teeth song from Barney to get him to brush and it goes on and on.

Kimberlee just cried and ate and slept, she was a newborn. ;) As she got a little older she loved to play hide and seek. She met Donny Osmond and was surprised that he was at the bookstore because she thought he lived inside our TV. She also learned to spell her name when she was only two.

It seems as almost no time has passed, but now Kimberlee is almost ready to start high school, Michael has one year before graduation, James is a missionary, Shanna is going to be a mother herself, and John David is the family handyman.

These little moments from my children's lives exist now only in memory. Time and life march on, relentlessly. Someday Shanna's first pregnancy and James' mission service will also be memories. I hope I can enjoy these experiences vicariously through them and savor these unique times.

Treasure these moments. Experience the daily joys those little bites of time and events that make life rich and delicious.

My preferred method of eating chocolate is to let it melt on my tongue savoring the sweetness and flavor. Chewing ends the episode too quickly and diminishes the opportunity to really taste and experience the sweetness, the creaminess and deliciousness of the candy.

Life life like you are eating chocolate slowly, notice the moment, savor it, treasure it.

Hearing Voices

One of the time honored traditions for moms of missionaries is that the missionary gets to call home twice a year, on Christmas and Mother's Day.

A lesser known part of this is that some missionaries get to do a "pre-call" where they call at a random time to arrange the time for the real call. I had never heard of this before.

One day in December I was talking with a co-worker when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it showed a call from Kentucky not knowing anyone in Kentucky I hit the ignore option and continued my conversation. A minute later the phone rang again and my friend said "I guess Kentucky really wants to talk to you. I answered the phone with a tentative "Hello..." expecting some telemarketer or something. Then I heard one of the greatest sounds I could imagine "Hi Mom!" It was James, my missionary son, doing a surprise pre-call! It was almost bouncing with excitement. Exclaiming over and over "I just love hearing your voice."

I got another pre-call the Friday before Mother's Day. It was short, but again it was so wonderful to hear his voice that it made my day.

Sounds are all around us. The hum of the computer, the whisper of the fan blowing the air that is either heated or cooled to a comfortable temperature, the rhythmic beating of rain on the roof and pavement, music, birds chirping, leaves crunching in the fall, laughter and so much more. The sense of sound is such an amazing gift!

One of the best sounds we can hear is the sound of a loved one's voice. Memories linger, photos capture frozen images of moments in our lives, but voices seem to fade which is sad.

After Katelyn passed away Michael made a tribute video of her to give to her mother, Patsy. I was fortunate enough to go with him to deliver it. Patsy watched with smiles and tears. Part of the video was of Kat talking for a few seconds before bursting into her wonderful infectious laughter. More than once we saw and heard Kat saying a few words then laughing.

When the video was finished. Patsy looked at Michael and said "Thank you for giving me her voice. I have lots of pictures, but now I have her voice"

We listen to many voices each day, but how often do we stop to think how precious those voices are to us?

Just as we can easily recognize and identify people by their faces, we also can identify a voice, especially of someone we love. The sound of one of those voices can make our day.

I am waiting with eager anticipation to get to hear my wonderful missionary son's voice tomorrow. Music to my ears.

What's In A Name

I am still pondering the whole grandma name thing.

Has it ever occurred to anyone that the tradition of calling a grandmother "Grandma LastName" is weird and a bit warped?

Think about it, to your kids (if you follow this tradition) your mother-in-law is Grandma LastName. When your children have children why do you suddenly have to take on your mother-in-law's identity. This is seriously flawed logic.

The way I figure it no one is ambivalent about their mother-in-law. Either you think she is an angel or you think she is the devil!!

If you are one of those lucky women who love and get along with your mother-in-law suddenly having her title seems to me that it would feel like a coups or that you have usurped her position.

If you are one of those who plans on seeing your mother-in-law rot in a very dark place where snowballs do not survive, why on earth would you want to take a name/title she has used for years. You don't want to become anything like her or be associated in anyway.

With that in mind why do so many continue the bizarre custom of transforming (by name anyway) into your mother-in-law?

Maybe this is the reason so many grandmas' are breaking from tradition and choosing titles like MeeMaw, that is certainly better than Grandma Saint (too hard to live up to) or Grandma Satan (wouldn't want to "live up" to)!

Just a thought...

Of course all the MeeMaws and Nonnies may just be because the word "Grandma" feels to darn old.

What ever the case I prefer Nana Lisa. That's my name and I'm sticking to it

Please Don't Call Me Grandma!

Remember I promised this was not going to be a blog only about death? Now I am proving that by posting about life!

A new life to be exact. My beautiful daughter just found out that her baby, due in October is a boy! She texted me and said "It is a little Robbie" this is exciting news.

I am eager to start the adventure of having a grandchild. I just am not too sure about accepting the title of "grandmother," that word just feels so old to me and I do not feel old enough to fit the paradigm I have of that word.

I have decided that "Nana Lisa" is the title I would like to have. I am excited to start gearing up to love another amazing little life and be as involved with him as Shanna(h) would like me to be. I already bought a fun little gift for him.

Thinking about it, the process of prenancy is amazing! To grow from two almost microscopic cells to a fully formed and viable human being in just nine short months is absolutely miraculous! To be a woman and have the ability to grow a life inside of you is so amazing.

I eagerly await seeing this amazing life that is my first grandchild enter the world in a few months and then see him grow and learn and pass all the milestones babies all reach.

I know that Nick and Shanna(h) are going to be amazing parents. Shanna(h) was born to be a mother. I love her and know she will be awesome as Robbie's mommy!

Missing Shawna

Four years ago today my dear friend Shawna passed from this life. Shawna was (is) one of the most loving, caring Christ-like people I have ever met. Unfortunately for all the light she brought to others she lived in darkness herself, suffering from bi-polar disorder. Her passing was by her own hand.

I met Shawna almost 11 years ago. My son, then 6, had to have an extensive surgery. In Relief Society it was announced that Michael was going in for surgery the next day so please keep him in your prayers. His surgery would require almost a week in Primary Children's hospital following the procedure.

Later that evening a there was a knock at our door. I opened it to find Shawna standing there. She and her family were fairly new in the ward and didn't know her except by sight.

Shawna introduced herself and said that she had spent time in the hospital as a child and knew how boring and uncomfortable it could be. She gave us a wonderful care package with coloring books, play doh and a delightful books called No Jumping on the Bed. (It is to this day one of my favorite read-aloud picture books).

I was so touched by the kindness and compassion and charity it took for a total stranger to take the time to do something so thoughtful. That care package helped Michael during his hospital stay... but it changed my life.

Shawna and I became very close after that. We walked and did other exercising together. Told each other confidential things, talked together. When I needed good advice it was Shawna I usually went to. It was very hard to watch her move from the neighborhood to a community about 30 minutes away. We kept in touch for the most part. I was privileged to attend the sealing of their fifth child, a daughter they adopted in a pretty much miraculous chain of events.

Shawna was a wonderfully talented person. She had the voice (and personality) of an angel. She also was very spiritual and had a strong testimony of the Gospel.

In the early spring of 2005 I was in a musical that centered on a temple dedication. I was also on the production team. We wanted to double cast the show and needed another leading lady. I tried several times, unsuccessfully, to reach Shawna by phone to invite her to take part in this production.

About this time as I was driving home from work one day a neighbor flagged me down. She told me that she had seen Shawna's obituary in the paper that day. I raced back to work to pick up a copy of the paper. I read that Shawna had returned to her Heavenly Father after a long fight with mental illness. I feared the worst, that Shawna had committed suicide.

I felt as though the earth had fallen out from under me. I was devastated. I didn't know what the eternal consequences were for this terrible choice, but remembering a story I had heard about a near death experience and that the person who had the experience had witnesses the hell-like suffering of someone who had killed them self.

I could not bear to think of my beautiful, loving friend suffering like that. I cried non-stop for days. I could barely function. I plead with the Lord for peace, but it did not come. What if I could never see Shawna, whom I love like a sister, again.

I know that the Lord prompting me to reach out to Shawna, even though I didn't connect with her was a tender mercy to me. I know that I tried to reach out to her. I don't feel guilty for not being there for her. He greatly blessed me in this.
After several days of this painful existence I drove the 30 minutes to her funeral. I greeted her loving husband, David, at the viewing. He wrapped his arms around me and said "Oh Lisa, she loved you." As I saw her lying there I still felt despair, that empty shell was not my beautiful friend, she was gone possibly forever.

Shawna's beautiful sister Cherie greeted me. I knew Cherie fairly well through Shawna. We hugged and cried. Cherie was scheduled to speak. I don't know how she had the strength to do that. I went into the chapel to wait for the funeral to begin and continued to sob.

We heard several talks about the wonderful Christ-like person Shawna was, how she always tried to help those in need. She literally visited those in prison and tried to share friendship and hope.

David also spoke. He read from an Ensign article from October of 1987 by Elder M. Russell Ballard entitled "Suicide, Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not". Elder Ballard quoted Elder Bruce R. McConkie:

The late Elder Bruce R. McConkie, formerly of the Quorum of the Twelve, expressed what many Church leaders have taught: “Suicide consists in the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind. … Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.” (Mormon Doctrine, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 771; some italics added.)

This was a turning point. I felt I had been given a great gift... hope. I should point out that David works in the media department of the Church. He works closely with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency. These good men knew the trial David and his family were going through at this time. Elder Jeffery R. Holland made the trip from Salt Lake City, skipping a meeting with the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve to attend the funeral with the blessing of President Gordon B. Hinckley.

I think it is an unwritten rule in LDS funerals that if an apostle shows up he speaks, even if he was not on the program.

This wonderful gentle man, whom I sustain as a prophet, seer and revelator; who has been called and set apart as a Special Witness of Jesus Christ stood and spoke. He spoke of the love of President Hinckley, he spoke of the wonderful Plan of Salvation. He quoted scripture that tells us that by our good works we are saved. He promised that Shawna, having done many good works, and leaving her five beautiful children as evidence of some of her best work that she still might gain her exaltation!

The tears I had been shedding for days continued to flow, increased even, but now rather than tears of despair they were tears of joy! I knew then, as I still know that Shawna will be okay. I know that a loving Father in Heaven and our Savior are in charge. They have the unique ability to look on the heart and intentions of all. They can judge so perfectly and are also merciful. Jesus, our loving brother has the unique position of having suffered our sins and sorrows. He knows perfectly the feelings of anguish I had been feeling, he could heal me. Even more importantly he knows and understands the feelings of hopelessness Shawna was feeling that lead her to this tragic decision. He can also heal her, eternally.

I always had learned about the Atonement of Jesus Christ and believed in the power it had to change lives through repentance. But until I lost Shawna and suffered misery untold over it, then felt the wonderful peace and joy I had been begging for I did not fully comprehend the infinite power it has. I am sure there is still much I can and should learn about the far reaching consequences of this unimaginable and selfless act of true and pure love.

One of the hymns sung at Shawna's funeral was Where Can I Turn For Peace. It was one of her favorite hymns and is now one of my favorites.

Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

Where when my aching grows, where when I languish, where in my need to know, where can I run? Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand? He only One.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching in my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

Shawna gave me many gifts and blessings through her friendship, but her final and greatest gift she gave me in her life was a greater testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The words of this hymn are true. Christ truly is our friend and through his infinite love we can find peace.

I have been blessed to feel Shawna near me a few times in the past four years. I know that, occasionally, she is helping guide my life. She helped me reconnect with Cherie recently, with powerful results for me. God, in his mercy has allowed these tender mercies in my life. I am grateful.

I love you Shawna, I think of you often and miss you so much. I sometimes even pray that the Lord will continue to watch over you and bless you as you continue to progress. I look forward to seeing you again. Thank you for all you taught me through your life and example.

Lisa

P.S. I promise that this is not going to be a blog only about death! I have just had two wonderful daughters of God on my mind a lot lately.

In Loving Memory of Katelyn Mikolasy

On March 6, 2009 this world lost a wonderful person. My son Michael's friend Katelyn Mikolasy was accidentally shot and killed by a friend.

I never had the opportunity to meet Katelyn, known as "Kat" to her friends. I wish I had met her. By all accounts she was a bright, vivacious beautiful girl that was full of life. Kat was always kind to everyone. She sought out those who especially needed friends and befriended them.

Kat was fun to be around and made others feel better just by being near her. She laughed all the time. Michael and Kat had a TV Broadcasting class together. They worked on a few projects together. Michael has shared video clips with me of Kat's wonderful infectious laugh! She was a bright spot to all who came in contact with her, even many who never actually met her.

I know that Kat is in a wonderful place. She is reunited with her Father in Heaven, She is, I believe. as Lehi described "encircled about eternally in the arms of his love". This can provide some comfort, but does not lessen the ache we feel when we miss her so much.

Less than an hour before Kat passed away she was in contact with her mother, Patsy. Kat had texted a request to stay out past curfew. When her mom replied that she should some home on time Kat agreed. When the doorbell rang at about the time Kat was expected home her mother was puzzled as to why her daughter was ringing the bell. Instead of Kat a police officer was at the door to break the tragic news.

Despite the tragic manner in which Patsy lost her only child she recognized that Katelyn's death was an accident and forgave the young man who had been playing with the gun immediately.

Katelyn's Christ-like friendship and love for people as well as Patsy's Christ-like compassion and forgiveness inspire me so much.

Only once before has the passing of someone so profoundly touched my life. I have learned a lot from the way Kat led her life.


Reach out to others, love the unlovable, let go of judgements, assume the best of all you meet.

Life is fragile. Live each day with fullness, leave no loving word unsaid, leave no kind deed undone.

Make a difference each day: smile at someone, give somebody a hug, say that nice thing you are thinking, laugh out loud!

Live, Laugh, Love!!!